Back Issues! Comics 1993-2000

Forged in the iron heat of John Major's political dominion over man, these rare titles chart the evolution of the Hatcher style and include proper books that can now be had for one five hundredth the price of their poorly-reproduced amateur kin. Your House of Hatch library begins here! Paypal, cheques and Postal Orders - whatever it takes, basically. Support the arts! They're all we have.

TWL 1 (1993) SOLD OUT!!

Hurry! Very few copies left. Never to be reprinted!

Here it is! Time We Left #1 is where it all began - though some of it began later on in House of Hatch, but we'll have more about that shortly. Just try to focus on Time We Left for now, because we've got three of them to get through and we need to work together if we're going to cope.
Right, Time We Left #1 was Paul's first self-published comic. Look, there's John Major on the cover, and you also get a balloon. The joke is that the balloon is stapled to the cover, so you can't blow it up. Not bad! In fact Viz had the same idea 14 years earlier, unbeknown to the author at the time, so you can't deny it's funny. And since the rubber is now almost certainly perished and rotten, the joke is arguably twice as funny. At no extra cost! There is some extra cost, but it's not connected to the balloon.
At any rate, no self-respecting Paul Hatcher completist, which was a full 30% of them at last count, can afford to be without this valuable historical document and associated balloon. Contains strips, gags etc., general light-hearted fare, no doom and gloom.

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TWL 2 (1993)

Hurry! Very few copies left. Never to be reprinted!

What can we say about Time We Left #2 that hasn't already been said by assorted critics, pundits, angry parents and crown court judges? "Fanboy humour with a cutting edge" - that's what they said. Were they correct? Decide for yourself, if you dare.
What's in here that's so great, you oafishly enquire? Cartoons and that, probably some Hawkwind references... I wouldn't be surprised to see The Mekon... just Paul's fetishes from 1993, really. Sure to constitute valuable, damning legal evidence at some point in the near future, this eclectic rattlebag of dated humour can still be yours while stocks last.
Features the origin of Superpaul, if you've been wondering about that.
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£2.95 inc. p&p.

TWL 3 (1994)

If you've bought the first two, you might as well buy this. And if that doesn't convince you, just look at this small-press review quote from the time of the original release:
"hit and miss with a very questionable sex scene"
If that sounds familiar, it's because they said the same thing about Lost Girls years later. Once again, Hatcher paves the way and others meekly follow. And! According to Paul, it actually contains two questionable sex scenes. So if you're a fan of questionable sex, your dirty little prayers have been answered.
Sex talk aside, Time We Left #3 is another assortment of laugh-a-minute strips, though that ratio will vary depending on your reading speed. In addition to all of the above, it boasts a full-colour cover, just like a real comic.
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£2.95 inc. p&p.

The House of Hatch (1995)

It all starts here - in Paul's fourth comic! House of Hatch is a kind of cartoon sausage, collecting as it does various bits of humour that fell on the floor over the years.
SEE! the inaugural appearance of Sigmund Spassky and the birth of the Stare-out franchise!
READ! Paul's very first cartoon, reproduced here from the original manuscript!
FEEL! the lovely colourful cover featuring the eponymous house!
DISPUTE! the price when you realise that Paul foolishly painted the original mid-90s price on the lovely colourful cover featuring the eponymous house!
SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE! Young and old, black and white, good and evil - all are welcome at The House of Hatch.

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£2 inc. p&p.

The World Stare-out Championship Final (1996)

Never to be reprinted!

Golly! What have we here? This must be the original self-published comic/pack which the animated shorts of the Big Train TV show were based on after Father Ted Grand Master Graham Linehan spotted it on the shelf in London's GOSH! Comics. What?! Didn't you know The Stare-out Champion Final existed years before Big Train was a twinkle in the eyes of Linehan and Mathews? Well here is it in all its sporting glory! This astonishing bag of excellence contains the original comic, a set of Stare-out player cards, a poster of the championship, DIY stare-out masks and more, all of which came from the hard-working stable of The House of Hatch way back in 1996. If you're not convinced it's worth your hard earned currency then just remember that it's a limited edition and will never be reprinted, or read the 1996 Observer review of this priceless and unaffordable comic.

Even the author of Watchmen, V for Vendetta, From Hell and WildCATS liked it!

"Paul Hatcher's World Stare-out Championship is a terrific piece of work from a new and versatile cartoon talent with a fine grasp of visual comedy and comic timing. Recommended!" - Alan Moore

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£11.50 inc. p&p.

Signed Sigmund Spassky photo

A signed promotional photo of the great man just shortly before retaining his umpteenth World Stare-out Championship Title back in 1996.
This high-quality monochrome reproduction of the steely gaze that crushed Kampagnola will out-stare you and your loved ones from your private desk, wall or wallet for years to come. No batteries required. Will never blink - guaranteed.
For occasional viewing only. Not to be stared at.
£2 inc. p&p.

Picture Book (1996) - SOLD OUT!

A collection of collages and other other single page cut and paste gags.
Look at the beautiful cover over there on the left. You're probably thinking to yourself this, surely, is a book to treasure, a book to share with friends, to pore over long into the night over a bottle of moderately-priced Californian wine and some chocolate biscuits. And you're quite right to think all that, but unfortunately for you this marvellous book is thoroughly sold out both locally and in foreign parts. And don't bother trying to find a copy on eBay, that's a madman's dream. The lesson here is: when you see a House of Hatch comic, buy it!
You heard! Sold out!

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Tee Hee (1996) - SOLD OUT!

Written by Dan Bartlett and drawn by Paul Hatcher in some kind of artistic collaboration, Tee Hee offered 24 pages of puns, gags and jokes at a very reasonable price, the affordability of which is rendered irrelevant by the fact that Tee Hee is, like Picture Book and TWL 1, which I'm sure you recall you failed to buy at the time, SOLD OUT!
I don't have any! Try Waterstone's!

The Town (1997)

Originally intended to be published at the same time as The World Stare-out Championship Final, as The Town was art-based while Stare-out was text-based.
The Town was dedicated to the artist's (now late) grandmother who saw comic books as disposable ephemera. Looking at comics these days, she had a very valid point.

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£2.95 inc. p&p.

The Red Bus (1997)

Another compilation of short strips where corny and cheesy seems to have been the order of the day. Serial Giggler, The Sad Cases and Pigs.. are the highlights here.
The observant and informed reader will notice that the author is driving this particular bus. Rest assured there is absolutely no chance of this scenario ever arising outside of a comic strip.

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£2 inc. p&p.

The World Stare-out Championship Final (Hardback Bloomsbury Edition, 1999

In the wake of the Big Train TV show, Bloomsbury published this lavish and legitimate version of the 1996 original, with an ISBN and everything - all of the fun, none of the stigma and all of the status. The edition, please note, leaves us in no doubt that the moral right of the author has been asserted, so watch out.
Complete interrupted coverage etc. Bafflingly, no page numbers, but there are certainly over fifty of them here. Fully illustrated, as one would expect, but in fairness some images are used more than once.

Chang Jin-Ming's Guide to Refereeing Stare-out (Hardback, Bloomsbury, 2000)

Another commercially published, reassuringly solid consumer product from the good people at Bloomsbury. Referee extraordinaire Chang Jin-Ming offers us this detailed guide to Germany's fastest-growing spectator sport, courageously acknowledging that he took to refereeing Stare-out after realizing, at the age of 42, that he would never compete on the world stage as he couldn't stare to save his life.
Thoroughly illustrated and remaindered.
Another timeless bargain at 1p on the Amazon marketplace.